From the time we start to grow into realization we understand the things that happen to us and sometimes we even take it personally. In the event of bad experiences, we tend to hold on to the bad memories and they chrome up our lives.
Jack Kornfield said that letting go doesn’t exactly mean to get rid of something but letting it be. He said that when we let things be with compassion, things will come and then go on their own. When you hold on to all that pain, you don’t fix anything and neither does replaying it over and over again.
Sometimes, especially when it comes to things that happened in the past is to let go. Letting stuff go is how you get to change your circumstances. Even if it feels impossible, you have to let go of what is hurting you rather than keep holding it.
By holding on to the past, you will be holding yourself from who you really are. If pain is all you know, you might actually grow comfortable to it. Most people are stuck in this situation because they think that those experiences define them. This can make it impossible for such people to let go.
Tips That Will Help You Let Go
Accept that some of the relationships you always wanted to have will turn out to be different than the ones you currently have
You need to accept who you are at the moment and who others are as well. Things do not always go as we hoped or as plan, with time you come to learn this. In fact, almost always, they never do.
You also need to understand and accept that this is also okay. The more you become aware of your part in some of the relationships in your life and who you are, they will gradually improve. You may also be forced to accept some facts about certain people in life. Be grateful for where you are and those in your life presently, appreciate them, while you learn to trust in the process.
Don’t let self-limiting beliefs limit you
Beliefs such as “you can never make it happen” or “you can never do that” can be very limiting. You will never accomplish your goals if you actually belief this. You need to believe in yourself which means that you need to open your mind. Do no listen to people who tell you that you can’t do it and prove them wrong instead.
Worry only about what you actually think of yourself
You need to stop paying attention to what people think about you and focus more on what you think of yourself. Make a point of priotizing yourself instead of others. Make sure you are in harmony with what you say and what you think. If you live your life guided by the approval of others, you won’t be able to live by your values.
Accept the things that you can’t change
Not everything is in our control, there are things we just can’t change. This means that you need to stop wishing that things go back to how they used to be. You need to capture the present moment and be in the moment.
You will never change the pas and the present is where life actually happens. You need to be more focused on making choices that will help your future turn out better than the past.
Let people know what works for you
You need to find your voice and share with those around you what it is you are feeling and thinking in a subtle and rational way. You won’t have to keep bottling your emotions if you communicate with others what works and doesn’t work for you. You will also start feeling good about the person you are becoming and your relationships.
Unwillingness to forgive and resentment is what keeps the past locked inside you. It is also what prevents you from moving on with your life. People think that forgiveness works in favor of another person when in reality, it actually works for your best interest. Even if you don’t want to forgive a person, do it for your own sake because it allows you to let go of that pain and suffering you experienced.
Carl Jung said that you are not what happened to you, but you are what you choose to become. Forgiving allows you to let go of what is holding you back. It will open you to a whole new world of new experiences.
Let yourself feel the negative emotions
Whether you have become a junkie, lost someone you love through a breakup or death, you need to take time and honor your downfall or your loss. Visit Pueblo, CO alcoholic treatment center if you need help with your addiction.
Do not ignore what you are going through because it will only extend to suffering. Loss of someone can be such a painful thing to experience and you need to allow yourself to feel it because even though it is sad, it is okay to hurt. Allow yourself to feel. Allow yourself to go through the grieving process and you will move forward.
Leave room for mistakes
Human is to error. Whether you did or said something stupid, you need to leave room for those types of mistakes. You need to leave room for making a joke and learning something new. It doesn’t make you stupid if you say something silly or something wrong. This only makes you human and that’s okay.
Avoid taking yourself too seriously
People go about their everyday lives taking everything too seriously. They are obsessed with getting every single detail right that they forget to take time off and let loose. You need to take it down a notch, relax, sit back and just enjoy life.
Do whatever you need to do to have a little fun. Laugh with others or by yourself, anything o take the edge off.